Looking Back

So I was just reading some of my old posts on this blog... And I came upon my very first post.
"Join me on my adventures of life" is what I said...
And I haven't even posted anything remotely close to that. Well, I don't think I have...

I'll tell you a story right now.

Looking back, I realized I've made mistakes. A lot of them. Trusting my ex-bestfriend was one of them. Another mistake was when I thought my ex-boyfriend had changed. I believed that crap three times. I've gotten extremely hung up in the past, and I don't even notice the present whipping past me. My bestfriend just got a boyfriend. I had a guy ask me out. My other friends' nine...or eight month "anniversary" is coming up.
Where have I been?

...*sigh*

Literally, everyone hates me. I'm not even joking. Everyone always insults me and stuff.
They told me I should go die.
In a hole.
With all my issues.
And no one would care.
Because I'm too annoying.
In fact, I should apparently just kill myself right now.

...thanks? Your compliments are always appreciated... :/
And you know, I always love going into the bathroom and crying my eyes out.
And you're right.
No one does care. Maybe this world would be a better place for you and everyone else if I just...vanished. Or died, like you hope.

Uh. Seriously.

Do you even like me? Because I feel like you only want a girlfriend. Maybe not. I'm not sure.

Mwahahaha

So, I have not been on this for a looooong time. But, yesterday was amaaazin'. Just saying. Ahaha. My crush totally just asked me out last night. <3 Omg, and just this week, some girl asked my crush out, and he rejected her!! ooohh. I hope I don't get dagger eyes when we go back to school. :) Cannot stop smiling. :D

I hate you too.

I don't even say that out of anger. I hate your presence, I hate how you walk around like you know everything, and I hate how you ask questions and demand the answers, like it's your business. No, it's not your business. So GTFO. No one wants you or likes you. Your act is pathetic. I can't wait for everyone to see who you really are.

The best part?

You fool yourself into thinking you can go to that school for really really really smart kids, while you can't even manage a B at a school who's standards are set way too low. You say the stuff we're learning right now is hard? You will be surprised for college, I guess. Oh wait. That's if you make it in, stupid.

How to explain it all...

I'm not even sure if I can fit it all in one post! Guys, yeah. They're complicated. Very complicated. At first, whenever they're alone and talking to you, they always text back with more than one word replies. But whenever they're with their friends... They change. They hardly ever pay attention to you. Never text you. One word text messages if they ever send one to you. Pretend you're not there. And then you're confused. You thought he liked you, but now you're not so sure. Yeah, whenever you talk to him in person, he'll respond. Have a small chitchat. Then it's days after he talks to you again. You've seen him taking glances at you, now why won't he talk to you? Is it because one of his friend's like you? Is it because you've been mistaken all this time; maybe he doesn't like you. Is it because you're too annoying? And to make matters worst, one of your close friends, whose drifted away from you, starts getting annoyed at you because you just exist. She gets mad and annoyed at whoever hangs out with you. Maybe it's good that she drifted away from you. I wouldn't want someone like that around me; how'd we ever become friends? She starts believing that you are hitting on your best friend's boyfriend, who, by the way, is one of your closest friends. She tells your best friend, and she doesn't believe her. So she gets mad at her. We both try to explain to her that friends don't do things like that to each other, not unless your not a true friend. Your best friend tries to tell her that she doesn't understand the meaning of friendship; that just because you don't text anymore doesn't mean your not friends. You don't have a real friendship over text message conversations. And at this point, you're really getting stressed. You're confused over a guy, and at the same time, mad at someone. But--wait! There's more! Your meanie friend starts texting you, saying that the instrument that you just bought will break because it's not gold or silver. So you get curious over this, and decide to do some research. What do you find out? Oh, gold brass instruments are usually coated in the same thing as colored brass instruments. Silver is silver-plated, and raw brass has nothing. The internet says that silver-plated and raw brass instruments are HARDER to take care of, and the strength of the material is all the same. Brass is brass. And the finish has nothing to do with it (The finish is where most instruments get their color). So you tell this to your meanie friend, and she gets mad at you again, saying that you always have to be right and you never listen to anybody. She says she's just telling you what her friend said, who happens to work at a music shop. So what if you work at a music shop? Yeah, you need a little bit of experience to works there, but you certainly don't need to be some musical genius. I've gone to a music shop where they called my oboe a clarinet. They look alike, but they're not even closely related! The flute is more like an oboe than a clarinet will ever be! Don't believe me? Do you're own research.
So now you're at home, typing this up, not caring if you meanie friend or current crush sees this because you've had enough. Enough with everything. And now, you're going to raid the house for food. Right after you publish this post.

Um, can I even explain?

I can't even explain my feelings right now. Super happy! Bubbly inside, and butterflies in my stomach (in a good way).